Meeting with Dr. Horne, Writing, and Dealing With Loneliness

Thursday night I met with my former Advanced Composition professor, Dr. Naana Banyiwa Horne.  I received an "A" in her class, like I have in all my English and writing -related classes, but that "A" was not an easy one.  Throughout most of the semester, I hovered in the B+ range and finally went over the top, I think, with my oral presentation on a paper I wrote called "Calvinism's Contribution to Religious Intolerance in America."  Something had come over me when I stepped to the podium and I spoke about white male patriarchy's sense of entitlement as fueled by Calvinistic philosophy in the New World from the arrival of the Pilgrims up until today with the fervor of a convert.

It is a common belief that America was founded on religious freedom, and in a sense that may be true, but even more so, I believe the evidence is there that the Puritans originally came to New England led by John Winthrop, due to their own religious intolerance towards others.  This overall attitude, which thank God was not the attitude of the core of the founding fathers (otherwise we'd really be in deep shit), led to many atrocities toward people of color, including Native Americans, Africans, Mexicans, and immigrants from the Orient.  It is that same attitude, which spawned ideas like Manifest Destiny I argued, that is the crux of intolerance today against gays and lesbians, as well as people who worship or God outside the Judea-Christian tradition and non-believers as well.  

Whatever you may think of that thesis, I talked to Dr. Horne last night with the idea of getting a recommendation for the UF Journalism College.  It is quite competitive, from what I've been led to believe, so just a 3.85 g.p.a. alone may not cut it.  Yesterday, I finally got word from my Journalism professor Rodney Woehler that he sent a recommendation to the college.  The communication I received via email was cryptic to say the least.  "Done" was all it said.  We went back and forth a couple times until I procured the information out of him that he actually sent the recommendation to the college.  I took his class last semester and found it to be a lot of fun but not an easy "A."

Dr. Horne is a talker, and when I got there for our 5 p.m. appointment, she was slammed with students who wanted to talk to her.  I arrived first but had to wait for three individual students to talk to her because she didn't see me when she came in and I didn't speak up, assuming she did.  After waiting for over an hour, I finally got into her office but didn't get out until almost 10 p.m.  Dr. Horne, is a very personal teacher, who admitted to me from the outset that it is very hard for her to separate her personal life from her professional life in regards to her relationship with her students.  

She vented a bit about two challenging exchanges she had had that day with two specific students and then the conversation turned to writing.  She is a published poet, including two books of poems inspired by her native Ghana called "Sunkwa: Clingings to Life" (1999) and "Sunkwa Revisited: Poems" (2007).  She is also an expert on gender studies and has been published many times in scholarly and academic circles.

During our discussion, Dr. Horne commented that written communication is inferior to oral, spurned on by a student who had stormed out of her class earlier and then demanded a written prompt for an assignment she didn't understand.  Fresh from that discussion, I awoke at 4 a.m. this morning to read Tulasi-Priya's blog on Facebook that one cannot really get to know someone adequately through their writing.  To that I responded in the following way:

I guess the more transparent the author is the better you can get a "glimpse" of him or her but I agree with you (2nd paragraph of "Singing my little songs") in the sense that writing ultimately has its limitations. It's hard to convey a person's  tone, inflection and mannerisms; what to speak of how honest about themselves someone may or may not be.

Although, I do believe that writing has its limitations, I also believe that for some people like myself, who rarely speaks his mind, writing is a way for people to get know the author more. Dr. Horne asked me why I like to write and one of the answers I gave her is because I have both an input and output jack and since they are there, I am compelled to use them.  I was also very introspective and not forthcoming with my feelings from the time my mother first was diagnosed with cancer when I was eight-years-old until around the age of 17, when I first started breaking out of it.  Although, I'm no longer that kind of "shy" person, I find that writing helps me to open up and say things that I would otherwise normally never say.  I also told her that I have the "Fever" and couldn't stop if I wanted to.  Something turned on inside of me about three years ago and I haven't been able to stop. It's like a possession.  Dr. Horne looked at my blogspots and seemed impressed enough to have something to go on outside of her experience with me in class, in order for her to write a compelling recommendation. 

The whole meeting took a while, and I didn't even come out of there with a recommendation in hand  due to her word processing program being on the fritz.  Hopefully, I will be able to collect the remaining pieces needed for my application today (Friday) and turn it in to the College on time.

I woke up early this morning in order to study for my Topics of Math quiz, get my documents together for my application to Journalism College, and do all the regular morning routines of scurrying around the house that I have become accustomed to.  Last night, Radha stayed with her mother, Glani stayed with her mother and Govinda and Shyam all stayed with their mothers.  As a result, I stayed alone.  Although, we are all generally in separate rooms, not seeing anyone around made me feel particularly alone last night.  While I need time alone to write, I realize that sometimes I do not feel very good when I'm by myself, especially at night. At least it is hard to get used to.  I really need a good balance of time by myself and time with people, otherwise I feel bereft. It's hard to admit but I guess it means I'm a social creature like everyone else.  I guess without two important components- namely people and the sun, this world would be very cold, dark and lonely.  Perhaps that's why so many people have an infinity to go to the beach with their friends.  It makes them feel secure.