Remembering Padmanabha in New England

Some Padmanabha New England Remembrances

by Gargamuni das

I cannot possibly put into words the loss I feel with the passing of Padmanbha Prabhu. Before he moved to Germany at the end of 1983, he lived on this side of the Atlantic, in a place called New England. Some 27 years after his move, his departure from this world has sent shock waves to everyone who knew and loved him. And make no mistake about it- to know him was to love him- and there are many devotees here who dearly miss him. My remembrances are just one small account, and not from the very beginning of his Krishna consciousness, but from a period between 1981 – 1983, that have left an indelible mark on my personal life. I hope the devotees in Europe enjoy hearing a little bit about this rare soul before he blessed them with his association in Germany.

Around the time I joined the temple, he used to cook the feast by himself in the Providence temple. He was made the temple president by default because all the other senior devotees had moved to other temples. Although not a managerial type, he had all the other qualifications to run a preaching center- he could cook, perform bhajans and preach very well. He was a bit messy in those days but his feasts were spectacularly big and delicious. So much bigger than what most temples serve out today. Oh my god were they ever delectable. Pakoras, curded sabjis galore, savories, fancy rice pulaos, chutneys, puris and sweet rice were generally the bare minimum.

My brother, Kesisudana and I worked in the kitchen full-time just washing the dirty pots he created. It was hard to keep up with him. He would add the ingredients with his signature horn sounds "ba-doo-boo-boo" (he was a music teacher) without ever following any recipes. Spending time with him in the kitchen for hours everyday, and hearing all his Krishna conscious stories was the consummate bhakta program. Sometimes he spoke to us kindly like a loving uncle, and sometimes joked with us with his great sense of humor like a close friend.

When we cleaned up after the feasts, he would put the leftover prasadam in transfer containers. He made sweet rice so delicious that I still dream of it today. Whatever leftover sweet rice that didn't fit in the container, he would personally eat that night. The next day, Monday, he would always do a grapefruit juice fast, sit on the porch all day, chant japa, and answer all the philosophical questions my brother and I had. He would also preach to whatever guests came, or whatever neighbors happened to walk by. He was so laid back and so self-satisfied. He never seemed to be in anxiety about anything.

This was around 1983. He pretty much taught me to cook. He was about 37 at the time, I was 19 and my brother was 18.

Sometimes, we would chant bhajans for three or four hours at a time. He knew all of Bhaktivinode Thakur's songs on the harmonium. I would close my eyes and be transported into another world. After stopping, he would pause with his eyes closed also- then slowly open them with a smile on his face, look around the room and just say "Awwww Krishna." As one devotee put it, “He was always one of the good guys.” He put bhakti above all considerations.

For me, those days in his association will always be precious.

The first time I ever visited a temple was in Hartford and he was there. First my brother and I talked to the temple president Pyari, and then Padmanabha appeared. He had cooked the feast.

"I want to go to India this year," he said "But I can't." "Just go in your mind then," Pyari said jokingly. "Okay," Padmanabha said in his happy-go-lucky fashion. Since it was my first time, I thought he was serious and speculated they were talking about astral travel. I thought he must be a mystic yogi or something. It turned out he was even better.

I remember once, he, my brother and I all went to Boston to help cook for the Ratha-yatra and the Whole Life Expo, which went on at the same time that year. In addition, I think Janmastami and Vyasa-puja were all about the same time as well. It was madness. We served thousands and thousands of plates of prasadam and were working in the kitchen for 16-hours a day for about four days.

Padmanabha burned his feet straining a gigantic pot of boiling potatoes in the back parking lot but just kept on cooking with blistered feet, unfettered.

When we got back to Providence we were totally dead for the rest of the week. We would rise and Padbanabha would lead kirtan in a very hoarse voice for about 20 minutes and then we would all crash in our various rooms upstairs. Sometimes we would wake up, look at each other, say nothing and then just go back to sleep. Other times, we would come out and chant a few rounds and then just go back in our rooms and crash again. This went on for days until we finally recovered.

We were bramacharis when I knew him. He was older and had read all of Prabhupada's books before he finally joined the temple in his mid-30s. He was very mature compared to the young passionate bucks running around the temple in those days.

After he moved to Germany, he married and had a son.Hanuman. It just dawned on me that it was he who got me saying "Hanuman Ki jaya!" anytime I had to lift something heavy. He was in the military before he was a devotee and was especially attracted to Lord Rama's pastimes.

I recently contacted a friend who had left the movement after living with Padmanabha for several months. He was deprogrammed when he was only 19-years old but he never forgot his older friend. Upon hearing the news, now 44, he wrote, “Is that the devotee the I lived with in Providence ? If so, it is very sad he passed away. He was like a father figure and a great Man.”

I wondered about Padmanabha's next destination as I checked out of my hotel room after hearing the news the night before. As I left, I did the once-over, checking inside the nightstand. To my surprise, there I found Prabhupada's Gita right next to Gidgeon's Bible in the drawer. I picked it up with one hand and the book opened to 12.6 -7. To my delight, I read the following-

"For one who worships Me, giving up all his activities unto Me and being devoted to Me without deviation, engaged in devotional service and always meditating upon Me, who has fixed his mind upon Me, O son of Pritha, for him I am the swift deliverer from the ocean of birth and death."

He left us in New England suddenly at the end of 1983. My brother and I went out for the Christmas marathon and he went to his guru’s Vyasa Puja in Germany. He was requested to be president at one of the temples and he stayed there for good.

Now he has also left this world suddenly, after a brief illness. I guess that’s his style- short and sweet. I also guess Krishna has other plans for him. I feel so fortunate to have known such a great soul.

Political Factions and Progressive Tax

James Madison was very much concerned with the potential problem of faction due to his perceived fear of the power of the masses to trample upon the rights of the individual as provided in the U.S. constitution and later in the Bill of Rights.

Before we can go further into the discussion, a basic definition of the word faction seems appropriate. According to Webster, one definition of faction is “a party or group (as within a government) that is often contentious or self-seeking.” Another one reads, “party spirit especially when marked by dissension.” Thus a faction, in its basic stripped-down sense, implies a smaller group of people, within a larger group, whose inherent self-interest creates dissension, or some disunity within that larger group of people. In Federalist No. 10, Madison defined it thus, “A number of citizens, whether amounting to a minority or majority of the whole, who are united and actuated by some common impulse of passion, or of interest, adverse to the rights of other citizens, or to the permanent and aggregate interests of the community.” Here, the phrase “adverse to the rights of other citizens” is significant. In its milder and smaller form, Madison saw a faction as harmless and part of the general diversity of a nation. In its larger form, however, Madison saw said factions, as a very real threat to the health, fabric and ultimate survival of a union and the rights of the individual.

In the realm of subject pertaining to faction, Madison felt that such arenas as regime and religion were vulnerable. He was most concerned, however, with “the various and unequal distribution of property.” He thought that according to whether you were a property owner or not, you had distinct and separate interests in the logistics of society. Property owners, in general, have much more of an economic control over a nation, and with such control, are much more able to tilt the playing field of a nation in their favor.

In Madison’s mind, there were two ways to limit the harm caused by faction. The first way towards such limitation would be to remove the very cause of faction from the start; the second way would be to somehow control its effects. In reference to the first way, Madison saw only two real possibilities- to either remove people’s liberties as fought for in the American Revolution (which essentially would result in some sort of dictatorship or monarchy), or, in a sense, create some kind of “utopian” society where people’s interests and opinions create a homogeneous harmony. Seeing the first option as counter-productive to liberty and the second as impractical, Madison concluded that the only practical way to deal with the danger of faction is by controlling its effects.

Towards that end, Madison saw a Republic, or representational Democracy, as a much more viable option than a “pure Democracy.” In an outright Democracy of vox populi, majority rules on all issues including the voting in of specific laws. Because of its concomitant nature, this inherently has the potential to eclipse the rights of the individual that Americans hold so dear. In a small state, or in a nation where states have too much autonomy, such a factional minority can become more of a majority to the point of dominating or downright taking over a state. In a more diverse and larger nation, where representatives are elected from a larger pool and associate with representatives from other states, such a phenomena is much less likely to occur. It is also more likely that such representatives will be more competent. Partly to achieve these goals, Madison took the Federalist stance and saw a strong central government as essential to the preservation of the union and more specifically, the rights of the individual.

It just seems to me that factions can certainly be a hindrance to society when they get out of control, but a society devoid of them, would also essentially be a telltale sign of a lack of diversity. Therefore, a balance must be struck between the rights of the individual and the rights of groups of people that form and create special interests. There is nothing inherently wrong with “special interests” as long as they don’t gain special privileges that trample on the rights of the individual. This is, of course, especially pertinent today where lobbyists wine, dine and influence representatives towards their aims, often not in the best interest of individuals who wield less influence. Citizens have a right to form groups and parties to make their voices more strong, but the unequal distribution of wealth which goes hand in hand with a capitalistic economic system, can extend its hand into the political arena and sometimes do harm to the individual.

I don’t think there are any easy answers to these questions. Ultimately, in a Democracy or a Republic, the individuals who vote or choose not to, only have themselves to blame for the state of the union and the protection of their individual rights- providing, of course, the elections are actually fair and free. I think that Madison was right in terms of the need for a strong central government to not only protect the individual rights of its citizens and the diversity of a nation, but also to make it more powerful and safe from the economic and defensive points of view. But no matter what system you have, let’s say a Republic, for example, if the hearts of the people are selfish and corrupt, they can ultimately expect nothing but corruption and self-interest on a wider scale from their elected leaders.

In Thomas Paine’s The Rights of Man, Paine proposed a representational government combined with social programs to lift the common person out of the grip of poverty through the methods of progressive taxation. Paine was appalled by the glaring extreme between poverty and wealth in monarchies and wanted to ensure the colonies and soon the fledgling nation did not denigrate into what he viewed as an unjust state. He opined that progressive taxation be applied to “excess wealth” in order to level the playing field for all people. He felt that without such a progressive tax, no form of democracy could ultimately be maintained. In Paine’s later work, Agrarian Justice, he applied such an idea to the propertied paying a tax for the ultimate benefit of those who had no property.

Paine thought that property originally belonged to no man and since many who owned property inherited it or obtained it by special favors through an unjust monarchy, those who owned property should contribute to a fund for the common good of those who did not. He felt that those who had property had an unfair advantage over those who did not.

Both James Madison and Thomas Jefferson discussed these notions at length- and Paine came up with the view that such a progressive tax was needed to ensure basic human rights to those who did not have property.

Whether you believe that no man originally owned all property, or all humanity originally has a right to all property, or God owns all property, Paine’s treatise in Agrarian Justice certainly must have some appeal on some level. It would seem to me that only those who are in possession of a large amount of land or hope to be some day might object. Even among those individuals, some may still agree on principle, based on utilitarian or humanity reasons. That principle being that no individual in a nation, despite his or her ambition, or lack thereof, should sink below a certain level of sustenance and maintenance is born of a collective consciousness that we are all ultimately in the same boat together. Even many of the wealthy who honor this principle agree with some form of progressive taxation.

Now, while one can easily understand how self-interest can make a wealthy person and property owner be against progressive taxation, it is a little more of a stretch to understand why someone who is not so economically endowed would be against it. But, there are also those who in principle, be they Libertarians (who may have some compassion for others but believe in individual charity) or simply envious self-interested people who may have some hopes of some day being wealthy, who are against the notion of progressive taxation on principle alone. They obviously believe in smaller government and are much more in favor of the rights of the individual, at least in the way that they perceive it.

It is, however, ironic that Paine’s whole idea of progressive taxation is spurned on by his sense of justice in defense of the rights of the individual as well. It appears that from an ideological point of view, both groups of political philosophies and factions, namely those that support some sort of progressive taxation and those who are vehemently against it, are acting out of the sense of the rights of the individual. So the question begs- is there more than one way to achieve the same goal or is one system inherently better than the other for achieving the same means? From Paine’s pragmatic point of view, there was really only one solution.

Paine was expert at explaining complex ideas in such a way to reach the hearts of common people. And as such, he was very much able to do something of lasting value for the common people- whom he felt got the short end of the stick. Particularly when he went to France- he saw first hand the dichotic disparity between the wealthy property owners and the common people and saw it as an abomination upon the very spirit of humanity. He wasn’t interested in big government getting its dirty paws on the wealth that the people worked hard for. Rather, he was concerned with those who monopolized wealth and property and used it to their unfair advantage to fuck everyone else over. He saw first-hand what it could do- so while he believed in Capitalism, he also believed that some sort of socialism must be there in order to ensure that the dream of Capitalism be preserved for all people into the future. In a sense, he was not a man prone to fanatical extremes, although it may seem that way because his views garnered so much controversy in Europe that he was just narrowly able to escape execution.

A person with extraordinary vision is often not very much appreciated when he or she is alive. They may be dismissed as a crackpot or even worse- seen as a dangerous radical. Or they may be honored all over the world in time, while contemporaries from the same town or village will see that person as ordinary. Sometimes they come from humble backgrounds and are people of modest means for most of their lives. But despite the shortage of accolades and remuneration they may receive for the service they do for society, they ultimately go down in history as great individuals. Thomas Paine, although he certainly did strike a chord in pre-revolution America and gained some prestige and honor for that, died pretty much in obscurity compared to the great wealth of writing and influence he left for the betterment of others in the sphere of political philosophy. Whatever your political philosophical beliefs and methods to achieve and preserve liberty may be, although you may not agree with everything Thomas Paine said, you almost have to acknowledge his place in American history in helping to achieve a freer life for all individuals.

Rock 'n' Roll is Rock 'n' Roll

I was born in 1964, the year the Beatles came to America, and as they really were the most influential band going into the 1970s, in so many ways they shaped my life. I was a bit precocious as a kid and as a result, most of the friends that I hung out with after school were often four or five years older than me. Imagine, if you will, being 8-years-old in 1972 in northeastern Connecticut and having friends who were just becoming teenagers. What kind of music do you think I listened to?

I remember hanging out in Wayne Sperry’s basement. All the kids in the neighborhood did. While they smoked pot and made out with their girlfriends, I was allowed to stay there if I was quiet. As a result, I just sat there silently and listened intently to the music they blasted. At the time, I think, Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid” and “Deep Purple’s “Machine Head” got a lot of spins.

One friend, named Joe, used to take me to his house and play me what he called “the real good stuff.” He turned me onto Dylan, Chuck Berry, the Rolling Stones, the Kinks, and the Beatles. I poured over the albums and memorized all the lyrics. By the time I was 10, my younger brother Kevin and I started collecting our own records.

Now, I don’t know why, but I have always gravitated towards the past. I think it is partly because I like to see where things come from, partly because I have certain since of gratitude, and partly because I always disdained the “unenlightened masses” swarming around the latest trends, even if it happened to be what I would later concede as good music. In short, I became a bit of a music snob, albeit, with pretty good taste.

Sure, I liked some of the newer groups that were hitting it big by the mid-1970s, like Boston and Queen, but if I had my way, I would have been much happier to turn the clock back to the 1960s.. By the time I was a teenager and my friends were listening to Blondie, Devo, and the Talking Heads, I was smoking reefer and listening to Steppenwolf, the Youngbloods and the Beatles’ “Revolver” over and over again.

Many of the popular artists of the late 1970s, who I love now, like Billy Joel, the Bee Gees, the Clash, the Ramones, or the Police, I resisted then. It wasn’t until I heard the song “Refugee” from Tom Petty’s “Damn the Torpedoes” album on a Saturday Night Live episode in 1979 that my attitude started to change.

When he hit the stage, I was startled. The energy was raw, rebellious, and electrifying. The hooks were magnetic and the lyrics were clever. And that voice- like a modern Dylan and Roger McGuinn, but with a fucking attitude. Not as angry as Elvis Costello per se, but a presence not to be denied. And not clueless and stupid like a Johnny Rotten or a Sid Vicious. “Who the hell is he?” I thought. Later, I heard the story of determination and defiance against the record industry behind “Damn the Torpedoes” and it dawned on me how Petty was carrying the torch of the truly thoughtful yet irreverent attitude of rock ‘n’ roll from his idols, like the Beatles, Dylan and the Byrds onto the next generation, while flipping the bird to the proverbial “man.”

It was Petty who opened up the floodgates of my mind for me and allowed me to accept new music as viable and not reject something simply because the crowd was into it. While that’s harder now, considering the sorry state of mainstream music, I have continued to keep an open mind because of Petty, who himself has continued to make great relevant music and sell out arenas and amphitheatres around the country as he pushes towards the age of 60.

That raw, defiant, and thoughtful music is what to me, rock ‘n’ roll is all about, no matter what era it is from. It is a music that honors the past and stays fresh and relevant into the future, whenever and wherever it is recorded. To me, that is the real spirit of rock ‘n’ roll, no matter what sub-genre you may want to classify it as. It is as Jerry Lee Lewis said in the film “History of Rock & Roll, as shown in class, “Rock ‘n’ roll is rock ‘n’ roll.” How could it be put any better?

This New Year, This New Decade

With the new year fast approaching I recently told my son that I am enthusiastic to get my life together with the help of some good old fashioned new year's resolutions.  "You say that every year," he said.  "And then you just revert back to your usual self within a few days."

"But this year will be different," I said.  "This year I'm extra focused."

"That's what you always say," he said.

Maybe so, but I still think this year will really be different.   

You see, January 1, 2010 will not only be the first day of the new year but also the first day of the new decade.  Woohoo!  Sounds exciting, heh?  But seriously thinking about it, I have to ask myself why?  With that day fast approaching, I have to honestly ponder, why does it give me a shot of anticipatory enthusiasm?  

Is it because I will not only be able to make new year's resolutions but new decade's resolutions as well?  I mean, I want to change my life for the better and get closer to my true potential for sure, but why is it that the start of the calendar year always gives me added hope to do so?  Why couldn't I get the inspiration to better my life and turn over a new leaf at any arbitrary time?  How about Tuesday, December 22, for example?

Perhaps it's because we live our lives according to how we divide and measure time incrementally through the use of a calendar.  Or perhaps it's because all living beings are innately programmed to have a dose of energy for everything that resembles a new start.  Sayings like, "Start with a clean slate in the morning" always had a special appeal to me for some reason, like the dawn of a new day always brought me hope after a decent night's sleep.

This coming new decade has certainly made me think about how fast time is truly passing by in my life.  When the decade of the "ots," or whatever people will finally figure out to call it, started in the year 2000, I was 35-years-old.  No spring chicken no doubt, but as the decade ends and I stand at 45-years-old, it now sounds mighty young to me.  When this next decade ends and I clock in at 55 (if I'm still around by then), 45 will also sound whipper-snapper-ish for sure.  That being the case, I want to take full-advantage of my "youth" while I still can.  And no, I am not having a mid-life crisis.  I don't even know when mid-life will really is because I have no real idea how long I will actually live in this current body.  

Anyway, no matter how I analyze it, I am stoked about this new decade and really really really want to get my proverbial shit together in every possible way.  No need to get into the details, other than to say this pertains to every category of my life.  Will I be able to get it together?  Will my new found enthusiasm waver as it does every year- at least according to my son?  Or will this new year and new decade finally be the catalyst for lasting and positive change?

Hopefully, I won't be performing this same old song and dance when I'm 55.  Hopefully, I will really have some good momentum by then and feeling even better than I did when I was 35, or even 25 for that matter.  What I mean to say is, time will really be running out by then to make any major improvements.  Of course, when and if I get there, there will be somebody older telling me how young I really am.  Whatever the case, there's no better time to realize that the time is now.

It's Very Safe Riding With Me- Even When I Multi-Task

 

 

As I was driving home last night from Miami at rather high speeds, I was thinking.  You know,  I'm one of those guys who is against texting and driving for other people but think it is okay for myself.  Call me arrogant, puffed-up, overly sure of myself or whatever, but I just can't help myself.  My mind is way too restless and I am very confident that I am quite capable of doing it without any ill results.  I also Facebook, eat, talk on the phone, floss my teeth (not really) and even occasionally read (really, but very very carefully).  Sometimes I drive with my knees, so my hands are free for other important tasks, like air guitar or some other such imperative activity while listening to music at very high volumes.  Sometimes, I may close my eyes (for the shortest amount of time) to get into the lyrics more.  The lyrics are very important to me.

Once in a while, I even sleep with one eye shut and the other one as much as half-opened.  I only do this because I've heard how rest is so important for your health and I'm all about that.  I'd say I've easily driven at least one million miles in my life and still have not caused even one incident, what to speak of an accident.  Don't say that there's always a first time because that is one of the most inaccurate cliches of all time.  Is there always a first time to get Aids? How about skiing through a revolving door?  No.  You know why?  Because not everyone gets Aids or  skis through a revolving door in their lifetime- that's why.  Besides, for me, driving for five hours or more at a time just seems like a big waste of time if I am not allowed to multi-task.  

Now that we have that out of the way, I don't want to see you doing any of the things that I do.  And I sternly warn you, if I see you doing it, I'll probably call the police on you.  You know why?  Because I don't trust that you're capable of it, and I'm very concerned with other people's safety.  Sure, I myself may wander off the road once in a while, but I have the reflexes of a cat and probably twice as many lives as one.  I have absolutely no proof that you do, though.  So don't ever say that you are willing to take over the driving while I get rest.  Do you really think I would be able to sleep with you at the wheel?  You, who are so lacking in confidence to multi-task while you're driving?  No way Jose.  I feel much safer with myself at the controls, thank you very much.

In fact, it's really so safe riding with me at the wheel, that I don't think there's any need to ever wear your seatbelt.  I would advise you to, though, just in case there's a blue moon out that night and six or seven cars simultaneously make a mistake, and I'm only able to dodge all but one of them.  But don't worry, as you have probably surmised by now, I'm also a prudent guy and safety is definitely a serious issue for me.

The Serenity Prayer, Being Here Now, and Wading in the Cesspool

Yesterday, I ran over some glass and noticed a couple chunks of rubber missing from the side of my front passenger tire.  The tire is only a month or so old.  The one it replaced exploded while I was driving down I-75 a month ago.  I'm going to leave Miami around 4 pm today and hope everything will be okay during my long return back to Gainesville.

I haven't written any blogs for some time now.  My writing has mostly been feeble attempts at poetry.  I guess people live their lives in cycles, and now that I have a little time, I would like to express myself in more of a diary form.  

I don't even know what to say to describe the way I have been feeling lately.  I think one's emotional life is important enough to dedicate some words to because it is directly connected to the quality of one's overall life.  I think my basic problem is not accepting what I have to accept.  In other words, everyone has things to do in routine life that they have to do.  Not accepting doesn't just mean refusing to do it, but can also mean not putting forth one's best effort or being lethargic or unenthusiastic about it.  It can mean failing to focus and thus doing a shoddy job.  It could mean one's mind is in another place.  That one is mentally rewinding or fast-forwarding too much because they don't want to be there.  

There are a lot of causes for this phenomena, and it kind of smacks in the face of the famous serenity prayer, which of course requests god to grant the petitioner the strength to change the things one can, accept the things one can't and the wisdom to know the difference.  Sometimes we have the knowledge, but out of stubborn foolishness we don't concede.  Sometimes, we don't know what we can or cannot change and we sit in a stupor of limbo, not appreciating the life around us at the moment.  Other times, we mistake what we can change for what we cannot and surrender to the inertia as real opportunities pass us by.  Still, at other times, we have a "never say die attitude" for a lost cause and never move on with our lives.

I don't know which of the above negative stances has been affecting me more lately, but I suspect they are all acting on me to one degree or another.  The result is probably that I lack appreciation and gratitude for the situations I am being given and thus am failing to "be here now," as the saying goes.  If I was honest, I would have to admit that in nearly every category of my life, I feel like I am barely getting by and doing a sub-par job in the process, I might add.  How can you do your best job at anything if your mind is always somewhere else?

Procrastination has shown it's ugly face more than ever in my life this last month.  As the beginning of a new month is just about here, I feel it is imperative that I get my proverbial act together and start focusing on the things that I can to make my life better, as well as all the people who I have some peripheral influence on, in at least some small way.

Without getting into the details that make a piece of writing so much more interesting (sorry readers), I want to get the hell out of this current rut and start living my life again the way I am used to living it.  If it takes clawing my way out of whatever hole I'm in, then I am committed to doing it.  I have a number of ambitious plans on the agenda and I'm not going to get anywhere with them while wading in the cesspool.  Details and positive updates to hopefully follow...

Changing Times

I've got a lot of different accounts that are protected by various user names and passwords.  There is my ATM card, my credit cards, online banking accounts, my cable company, my Facebook and MySpace accounts, several email accounts, school accounts, etc, etc.  As it has been said so many times before (my way for apologizing for the cliche´that I'm about to write), the list goes on and on.  Despite all of the above, and I could list many more, I somehow can remember all my different user names and passwords off the top of my head, although sometimes it takes a little while if I have not utilized them for some time.  It's really a crazy world that we live in.  It's got me spinning around a little.

When I was growing up,  life was not that complicated.  We didn't have all these various accounts that could be accessed online with all these secret codes.  Nor, of course, did we have all of the technology of today.  Let's see, if I drifted back to when I was about eight-years-old, to the year 1972, for example, what could I remember about then?  I may be exaggerating but I swear that simple calculators were the size of toaster ovens and cost about $500.  There were no video games- not even in the arcades.  Pinball machines were the thing.  Cable TV did not really exist until a few years later.  Goal posts in the NFL were at the goal line and there was no such thing as overtime.  There were no fax machines, or mobile phones.  No VCRs or DVD players.  No cruise control or even micro wave ovens.  We didn't get ours until around 1976 and it was considered newfangled and space-age, man.   Still, somehow we thought things were really advanced with trash compacters and window air conditioning and whatever other new thing someone had recently obtained on the block.    

I remember when it was a big thing to get a hotel room with a phone and a color TV in it.  Or should I say motel room?

As kids, it seemed we had more freedom also.  Before I turned ten, I would regularly disappear with my brother and friends all day and come back around nine at night with not even a phone call in between.  My parents had no idea where we were but that seemed to be the norm back then.  If some kid's parents expected them to call, we thought they were very strict.  Sometimes we would drive for miles on our bikes and no one would bat an eye.  

These days, either it has become a more dangerous world or there is just more media attention in that regard.  Whatever the case, parents are far more protective of their children than they used to be.  While I think there's good reason for that, I also think that kids growing up today do not experience that same sort of adventure and freedom that kids of my generation experienced.

Back to how life has become so complicated.  Sometimes I think I should write all the login information down but experts warn you not to do that.  I could give every account the same user name and password but experts warn you not to do that too.  In essence, they expect you do have all these different letters and numbers in your head without writing them down.  As you get older, I suspect it will be a little harder, although I have not experienced that yet...I think.

Anyway, I haven't written for awhile and in my return I'm rambling but I think there is a point to all of this.  Life is different than it used to be.  It didn't happen overnight but it kind of gradually just crept up on me.  I'm okay with it.  I'm not a super-fast texter or computer aficionado or anything but I don't really care how much society changes.  I like the way things used to be to a large extent and I like the way things are now to a large extent as well.  There are certain things I could do without in both eras but I don't really care that much to tell you the truth.

The main thing is that I understand through all these changes I have essentially stayed the same person.  My viewpoint may be a little different and the cells of my body have completely changed several times over but I'm still me.  Just recently, I was thinking of my many childhood memories before I turned five and not just thinking about the events but what my consciousness was like then.  I didn't think about things like sex or death like I do now but the person inside that little body was still me,  somewhere in there.  And I guess I will go on being me even with the changes that are to come.  For example, vinyl records were the thing back then, but then came 8-tracks, cassettes and cds.  Now it's pretty much digital music.  But it's still music.  

I suspect I'll see some more changes in the upcoming years, in fact I'm sure I will.  They will be so gradual that I won't notice so much but when I look back, it will be like, whew, remember that?  Time really has passed!  Yes, time passes and things change but I have remained the same, essentially.  Logically, I also conclude that I will somehow exist after the big change for me, the death of my current body.  Don't know where I will be after this lifetime but I'm pretty sure I'll be somewhere, in some land where changes are still taking place.  Of course, I'd like to go to a place with a little more security and continuity but that discussion is for another place and another time.  I hear you have to gradually qualify yourself to go to a place like that.